Malc and I have recently been in a situation where we were starting to get bored with the female half of a couple that we’d been playing regularly with for a couple of years. We were close friends who have enjoyed weekends away together, had evenings out at the cinema and often invited along to straight gatherings like barbecues, birthday parties, etc.
We were in a quandary for ages over this. We didn’t want to lose their friendship but play just wasn’t giving us what we wanted any more. It seemed that the female half had become stuck in a sexual rut and was unable to break out of a pattern. In fact, it got so bad that we could accurately predict beforehand exactly what would happen during our time together.
I’d tried talking to Lynne (not her real name) but she didn’t appear to see the problem. She wasn’t doing anything differently now than she’d ever done so why was I concerned? Oh dear, that was exactly the point and she wasn’t getting it.
In the end we decided we’d have to drop them as playmates. Our free time’s limited and we really didn’t want to spend it in situations that we knew would leave us feeling frustrated when we had other friends to play with that were giving us so much more. Sadly, in dropping the play side of the relationship, we also lost the friendship.
This happened about six months ago and I still miss their friendship but I know we made the right choice. Swinging friends are different to straight friends in that the crux of the friendship is based on sex and when you take that element out of it, what’s left isn’t always enough to sustain a relationship with.
It’s well worth being aware of this problem before you develop a close playmate relationship with another couple because none of us can know how long it’ll last and if you know what you’re getting into, you’re far less likely to be disappointed later.
Sadie xx
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