Although this particular condition isn’t that common, it does occur and being as it can cause an awful lot of stress for those involved, it’s definitely something worth understanding because, you never know, it could happen to you.
Vaginismus is, simply put, a condition where the vagina tightens up so much that penetration is impossible.
It’s a psychological condition but that doesn’t mean the woman who has the problem doesn’t want sex. She could be gagging for it and still have it happen just as penetration is about occur.
There’s no set of rules surrounding why vaginismus occurs. Although it often happens following a traumatic sexual experience, and those who have been on the receiving end of unhealthy messages, it can also occur without any reason whatsoever.
When it comes to unhealthy sexual messages, women who are repeatedly told that sex, or her choice of sexual lifestyle, is a bad or dangerous thing is more likely to suffer from vaginismus than those who are told that sex is beautiful and should be enjoyed. Cultural and religious taboos can also have a negative effect.
Luckily, vaginismus is relatively easy to overcome.
It’s important you re-learn how to enjoy your own body. Focus on the pleasing sensations you can give yourself before attempting to move on to any kind of sexual encounter with a partner. Explore your vagina, at first with something small like a cotton bud, then gradually moving on to longer, thicker objects. Vaginal trainers (different size cones that you can use, starting with the smallest and gradually working up to the larger cones) are available. Your GP will be able to give you more information regarding these.
Remember, you mustn’t be shy. If you need to speak to your GP about the problem, never forget that (s)he has heard similar stories many times before and they have the experience to be able to help you.
Hopefully, this will never happen to you but at least you’ll know what’s happening if you should be unlucky enough to experience vaginismus.
Sadie xxx
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