Swingers and Marriage
Just like childless women who are quick to tell mothers how they should bring up their children, non-swingers are quick to judge the relationships of swingers without having any knowledge of their own.
I’ve never understood how anybody can imagine they’re an expert on any subject if they’ve never been there and actually tried it themselves, least of all swinging. And yet there are so many misconceptions flying around that you’d think 99% of the population has been involved in some way.
One of the most common misconceptions is that swingers are couples whose marriages are on the verge of break-up and that swinging is their last hope of holding things together; that by bringing others into the bedroom, they’ll maybe be able to bring back the spark that’s otherwise lacking.
One of Britain’s biggest marriage guidance charities and one that’s heavily subsidised by the government (but who will remain nameless for the sake of this blog) is opposed to swinging because they consider it dangerous to relationships. Fair enough - everybody has a right to an opinion - but these people have a lot of clout. They’re giving advice to couples who are seeking ways to help improve their relationships, and they’re telling them swinging is bad even though they can’t actually back their opinions with any kind of sociological research!
Yes, I’ve known swingers who have had rocky relationships and who have since parted, but the majority of those I know have extremely good, close relationships that a lot of ’straight’ couples would envy. In fact, I’m often told by people who don’t know about our swinging lifestyle that Malc and I have ‘an enviable relationship’. We can talk about absolutely anything, share absolutely any experience or fantasy (but can also keep it to ourselves if we choose), and we trust each other implicitly. The latest research from the US shows that 60% of swingers say that their swinging lifestyle has improved their relationship while only 1.7% say it’s become less happy because of it.
Whenever anybody criticises our lifestyle choice, I always remind them that once upon a time a woman who enjoyed an orgasm was seen as being evil and enjoying a ’sex crime’. Everything’s relevant to the time we live in. Maybe one day swinging will be the norm.
Sadie xxx
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