One of the questions I’m often asked is what BDSM is. Most people have heard of it but few outside the scene actually understand it.

First of all, BDSM stands for Bondage & Discipline (BD), Dominance & Submission (DS) and Sadomasochism (SM) and refers to any combination of these things.

If you tie your lover to the bed with silk scarves then you’re practising BDSM. If you spank him or her with a paddle, you’re practising BDSM. If you drip hot wax on your partners penis then you’re practising BDSM and if you attach nipple clamps to your woman then you’re also practising BDSM. In other words, a lot of activities are covered by BDSM even though the majority tends to think of it as being all whips, chains and rubber.

What’s essential in BDSM play is that there’s at least one submissive and one dominant person. Some people like to be submissive all of the time, and some like only to be dominant. Others like to switch between the submissive and dominant roles, depending on their mood and desires at the time.

The strange thing is, even those who turn their noses up at BDSM, believing that it’s just for weirdo kinky types, generally practise some form of BDSM at times, but without actually realising it. If you’ve ever tied your partner up or blindfolded him or her, then you’ll have practised BDSM. If you’ve ever so much as demanded they lay entirely still while you smother them in cream and lick it off, then you’ll have practised BDSM. It’s strange to think that a form of sexual pleasure that’s often considered to be a niche activity enjoyed by a few ‘pervy types’ is actually something that most of us enjoy in some form or another!

Sadie xxx

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