You know how some situations, although serious, are just so damned funny that you can’t help laughing? Well I experienced one on them last night!

My other half had made arrangements to meet some friends for a drink (or ten, judging by the state of him when he eventually rolled in at gone 2am) so, being horny, I jumped in the car and headed for one of my favourite swingers clubs.

It was a good night – plenty of men who knew how to treat a lady and a couple of nice girls who invited me to join them in a threesome. As you can imagine, I was in heaven.

By about 10.30 I’d kind of had enough (yes, it does happen) so was watching the other two girls getting it on with their husbands when a ruckus broke out on another bed. Everybody stopped what they were doing (swingers must be a nosy bunch!), wanting to know what was happening.

The poor woman was in a dreadful state. The guy had pulled out of her only to discover that he was no longer wearing a condom. They’d tried discreetly digging around after it but her nervousness had made her kind of dry and tight and her long nails weren’t helping! In the end she’d panicked (who wouldn’t?) and that’s when the rest of us realised something was going on. Several women with shorter nails tried to help her but to no avail. The only answer was for her to be taken to A & E.

The moral of the story? Whenever you’re using a condom, make sure it’s rolled on right up to the hilt and always, always grip it before pulling out!

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