For most of us, the very thought of not wanting sex is as far from reality as living on the moon or eating tadpoles on toast, but for some it can be a huge and very serious problem.
If you’re single and have made a concious decision to be celibate, that’s fair enough, but for single people who want to enjoy a satisfactory sex life but aren’t able to, the future can feel very bleek indeed. And for those already in a relationship, going off sex long-term can spell the end, even for swingers.
You’d think that the swinging partner of somebody who’s lost their sex drive would just happily go and fulfil his/her needs elsewhere, and indeed they do, but only to a degree. Because while physical needs can easily be covered, the emotional side of sex is generally something that belongs to just one special person. This is the reason, after all, that swingers rarely feel threatened by others. When the emotional side of sex disappears, frustrations can grow regardless of how much physical sex is available.
Commons causes for a person to lose their sex drive are:
~ Low self esteem
~ Bad past experiences that have resurfaced
~ Fears of an unwanted pregnancy or infection
~ Relationship problems
~ Illness
~ Depression
~ Alcohol or substance abuse
Ways to help solve the problem include:
~ Relaxation
~ A clean environment
~ Fantasising
~ Exercising the pelvic floor muscles
~ Focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship/partner
~ Excite yourself by watching a horror film, taking a white knuckle ride or similar (sexual desire is proven to rise about 20-30 minutes after such stimulation)
If you’re having a problem with your libido it’s important you don’t just ignore it. Problems rarely disappear of their own accord and if none of the above tips help, speak to your GP as the problem can sometimes be medical.
Sex is meant to be enjoyed and even if you aren’t missing it right now, you will do some day. And if you’re in a relationship, just think what you’re doing to your partner.
Sadie xxx