We often hear about what we should do when we visit a swingers club for the first time but today I want to concentrate purely on the things you shouldn’t do.

First of all, don’t be dishonest about who you are or what you situation is. In other words, if you’re 45 and married, don’t say you’re 35 and single. There’s really no point. Nobody cares! Married men and women are just as welcome as singles and, unless you’re visiting a club with an upper age limit, nobody cares how old you are.

Secondly, although maybe this is the most important thing to remember, don’t cross other people’s lines. If you ask somebody to have sex with you and they decline, don’t put any kind of pressure on. Don’t imagine that because you’re in a swingers club everybody will want to have sex with you. They won’t. Also, if you do have sex with somebody, don’t expect them to go along with anything you please. Not everybody likes oral or anal, for example.

It’s important to remember that most swingers won’t want to meet you outside of the club, at least not until they’ve got to know you pretty well. For that reason, there’s no point in asking others for their phone numbers. If you do and they so no, accept it. Some people find it difficult to accept that somebody may be willing to have sex with them but not to give out their phone number. It’s just the way it is. Don’t expect things to change just because you think they ought to.

Last of all, don’t have any expectations before your visit. Whatever you expect, the club will be different and more often than not, a predefined set of expectations will only lead to disappointment. Just go along and enjoy whatever the evening brings.

Sadie xxx

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uk swingers

One question I often get is “why aren’t single people allowed at swingers parties/clubs?”

For some reason a lot of people seem to think that the swinging lifestyle is for couples only, and although it’s true that it’s easier to get into the scene as a couple, swinging is far from couples exclusive!

While there are some couple only clubs, you’ll find that the majority clubs have at least one singles night a month, if not more. These nights can be either for both couples and singles, couples and single females only, or singles only. The reason most clubs are happy to invite single females more often than single males is simply because men looking for a swinging experience by far outnumber the women. That doesn’t mean there aren’t club that arrange couples and gentlemen nights, they’re just not as common and you may have to travel further afield to attend.

Personally, I’d always call a club before attending to ask about membership requirements and any special events that are being held before deciding whether it’s worth travelling to and, perhaps more importantly, on which night I should visit.

Just don’t give up. If you’re a single person, male or female, and you’re seriously interested in taking part in a swingers event, persevere and eventually you’ll find a club that’s right for you.

Sadie xxx

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single swingers

It’s an unfortunate fact that Xanadu, located in the heart of the city of Manchester, suffered from some not-so-pleasant rumours for a while, but things have changed now and the recent revamp has given the club not only a new look, but a whole new reputation.

Comfortable leather furniture and a brand new dance floor complete with pole-dancing poles are part of the new look Xanadu club where a sauna and jacuzzis add to the relaxed atmosphere.

Guests are encouraged to dress smartly and anybody wearing trainers and sports clothes will be turned away. Smart jeans are acceptable but the emphasise is always on that one word, SMART. Ladies can opt to wear sexy lingerie if they choose although this is optional.

One of the problems the club has been struggling with is the rumour of there being CCTV cameras in the rooms. This is, however, untrue. Cameras operate at the door, in the locker room and in the car park purely for the safety of guests but there are no cameras whatsoever within the club itself. In this respect, Xanadu is no different from most other swingers clubs.

Of course, there’s no pressure to swing so newcomers to the scene are more than welcome to pop along and get a feel for what’s what. Dance, chat with swingers and, who knows, maybe you’ll soon find yourself heading for one of the private rooms.

Visit the club’s website at www.xanadus.co.uk

Sadie xx

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I’ve discovered the most amazing and exquisitely sexy fetish club!

It’s called Club Wicked and it’s in London so easy to access from anywhere in the country and with some of the most stunningly dressed fetish enthusiasts regularly attending, it’s truly a delight for all the senses!

Event nights are reasonably priced starting at around £20 including a light finger buffet so whether you’re a sub who’s looking for a strict spanking, yearn to be trampled by a beauty in stilettos, or just fancy some fetish fun at a toga party, this place has it all!

I always think it’s important when swinging, and perhaps especially if you’re into the fetish scene, that you can feel safe in your environment, and that’s something the owners of Club Wicked have given a lot of thought to so there are strict rules to abide by. That’s never a bad thing in any club, though. Who wants to be continuously groped by somebody they don’t fancy or risk being photographed in a compromising position? Not me, that’s for sure!

If you’re into this kind of thing and can get to London, it may well be worth making a visit. The website’s at www.worldofwicked.com.

Sadie xxx

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If you’re ever in the Cheshire/Merseyside area, you’ll be pleased to know that there’s a wonderfully accommodating swingers’ club at Tranmere, just up the road from Birkenhead and in close proximity of a plethora of major towns like Chester, Wrexham, Southport, Wigan, Warrington, Crewe and Winsford.

The club, “The Townhouse International” is smartly decorated and very comfortable, and if it’s your first time visiting, either the hosts will welcome you personally or, if it’s busy by the time you arrive, one of the volunteer hosts will show you around and make sure you feel comfortable. This really is a club where you can be sure of a warm welcome, something that, sadly, can’t be said of every swingers’ club I’ve visited.

Whilst obviously accommodating vanilla couples (and singles, it’s worth adding) the club also has regular BDSM nights. TVs/CDs are also most welcome so it’s important that members are sympathetic towards transexuality.

Dress code is smart casual although, as you can no doubt imagine, on BDSM nights, fetish wear is the norm.

One of the things I really loved about the club was the incredibly friendly atmosphere. People mingled easily and there was never any pressure for sex.

The club itself is beautifully decorated, with two social rooms, one with a bar, an open fire place and comfy seating designed to accommodate those wishing to chat, and the second has a dance floor and stage.

Malc and I had a wonderful time there and really can’t recommend it enough.

For more information, take a look at the club website at: www.townhouseinternational.co.uk.

Sadie xxx

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Even if you’re not old enough to remember those old ‘carry on’ films, you’ll no doubt of heard of the famous scene where Barbara Windsor’s bikini top flies off, exposing her ample breasts to the cinema going public. Back then that was seen as being risque but these days… well, nobody would bat an eyelid, would they?

I used to do quite a bit of camping in my youth but, until a couple we’re friends with invited us to come along to a fancy dress swingers camping rally recently, I hadn’t given it much more thought. I certainly didn’t know that there was a swingers’ camping club!

Couples bring their caravans, tents or motor homes along to get together on a regular basis for sexy weekends away, some of them, like the one Malc and I attended, are themed for extra fun. The club hires the entire site for the weekend so that there’s maximum security and privacy.

Membership’s £20 for the first year and £10 for each subsequent year and must be paid regardless of whether you attend any rallies. The idea behind this is simply to stop those who are simply curious but who have no intention of ever attending a rally. As they say, what’s the point in having hundreds of members if only a handful ever attend?

The club’s non-profit making, though, so any monies left over at the end of the year are ploughed back in by arranging a mega party or something similar that members can enjoy.

We enjoyed our weekend and will definitely be attending again. Why not get that tent down from the loft, blow the cobwebs off, and get out there and carry on camping with A1 Caravan Swingers? I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Sadie xx

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So you’re single again and looking to get laid. I don’t blame you. I’m not even single but I’m always looking to get laid! But there’s a difference between getting laid within the swingers’ network and getting laid by a stranger you’ve met on the town. My guess is that if you’ve just broken up with a long-term partner and you’re after some no-strings nookie, long before you even consider the swingers’ arena, you’ll hit the town.

You’ll be glad to know that pulling isn’t that difficult, as long as you know how to go about it.

Check Out The Room. Don’t go for the first available looking person you see. Relax and take a good look around the place and remember that you’re more likely to be successful if you choose somebody who belongs on the same shelf as you do. By that, I mean don’t go dressed in tatty jeans and a ripped t-shirt and expect a woman in an Italian designer suit to be interested in you. You might get lucky if she’s after a bit of rough but you’ll stand a far better chance amongst your own kind.

Timing’s Important. There’s no point trying to chat up a woman who’s in the middle of an in-depth discussion with a friend or a guy who’s having a row with his mate. And don’t even bother if he or she’s showing obvious signs of interest in somebody else.

Offer to Buy a Drink. You may think this one’s just for the guys but it isn’t. These are the noughties and women are allowed to buy drinks now, too. Even if your offer’s turned down, unless you’re totally snubbed, it still opens up the opportunity to make small talk.

Show Interest. Don’t just sit there drooling over the object of your desire, show an interest in them. Listen to what they say and ask questions.

Be Confident. Even if you don’t exactly feel you’re king of the hill, it’s important you act as if you have faith in yourself. Confidence is sexy. People are more likely to be attracted to those who know what they want and aim to get it.

So there you go. If you’re heading out on the pull this weekend, the best of British to you!

Sadie xxx

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sex tips

Remember I said yesterday that I’d been invited to a private swingers party? All in all, a good time was had by everyone but there was an episode that almost ruined it.

A bloke brought his camera phone, and I was rudely interrupted from a lusty session with another girl when he started taking photos of us!

If swinging is about anything, it’s about privacy and respect. I can’t imagine a more obnoxious way of ignoring that than by whipping out a camera phone and clicking away as though you were on Brighton Beach!

“What the bloody Hell do you think you’re doing?” my new girlfriend screamed at him.

With an idiotic grin on his face, the stupid git answered “Relax luv, I’m just taking a few snaps to remember the moment by.”

“Leroy!” (not his real name) she yelled. Cecil being the hosts brother-in-law and a professional bouncer.

‘Leroy’ appeared out of nowhere, about 9 foot tall and spitting mad.

“‘ERE YOU!” he roared, grabbing him by the shoulder, “THERE’S NO BLOODY CAMERAS IN ‘ERE!”

He was tossed out on his arse to a round of applause and won’t be returning. Ever.

Photos may be fine for private sessions with consenting partners, but they have no place in an open swingers environment.

Consider yourselves warned.

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As a member of several swingers clubs, one of the things I often hear from new members talk about is how nervous they were about joining. I’m not quite sure why that is because if there one thing you can be certain of, it’s that everybody at the club will share your passion for sex.

Anyway, although I don’t understand the reasons I can certainly understand the feelings so I thought I’d give you a bit of advice about joining a swingers club.

First of all, have a look in the small ads of your local newspaper or make an Internet search for swingers clubs in your area. Don’t be too precise; the likelihood of finding one in a small town is much slimmer than in a city. You could even try searching your county.

Take a look at their websites. In my experience, if the website’s professionally designed there’s a good chance that the club’s well run with strict rules that members are expected to adhere to.

The kind of rules a good club will have include a no touching policy unless a couple/trio/group have agreed to sex. They also insist that members take no for answer and don’t hassle other members who may not feel ready for sex or, quite simply, don’t fancy sex with that particular person. After all, just because we’re swingers doesn’t mean we’ll bed just any old body, does it?

A good club will also have a dress code, depending on the night.

On “general” evenings, smart attire may well be expected before a set time, after which the ladies will perhaps change into lingerie and the gentlemen into a towel wrapped around their waists. “Leather & Rubber” evenings speak for themselves and some clubs arrange a “Lingerie” evening that’s for ladies only and is very popular amongst bi members.

Sex generally takes place is designated rooms away from the main bar/lounge area so don’t worry about walking in to find hundreds of people humping in front of you. You’ll have a chance to get used to your new surroundings and, believe me, before you know it, you’ll wonder why you didn’t join before.

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