According to a recent study carried out by the Berman Center, women who regularly use vibrators experience greater levels of sexual satisfaction and feel happier with the quality of their life than their sisters who steer clear of sex toys.

I can’t tell you whether or not that’s true because I’ve used vibrators since a friend bought me one for a laugh on my 18th birthday. Little did she know that she was giving me one the best presents I’ve ever received, simply because she’d introduced me to the wonderful world of sex!

There are all sorts of vibrators available, from the deluxe gold sleek to the clear g-spot tickler and because I love bringing myself off (and Malc loves watching me) I have a whole range of vibes that all feel different.

The deluxe gold sleek is a good, standard type vibrator that’s useful in a whole bunch of situations. It’s hard from means it can be used at the back door as well as the front and because it’s metal, it feels cool against the clit. It’s one I always have with me when I go away because it doesn’t pick up dust in my suitcase in the way some jelly vibes tend to, and it’s really easy to keep clean. And at 7.5 inches, it’s a nice size, too.

The clear g-spot tickler is one of my favourites. The shape gives me an amazing sensation and because it’s 7 inches long, it gets right in there to stimulate my g-spot and bring me off like crazy. Put the studded sleeve on it and you won’t know whether you’re still here or have died and gone to heaven! Honestly, if you want to get in touch with your sexuality and learn to have vaginal orgasms, this is something you just have to try!

Sex is wonderful and vaginal orgasms are the icing on the cake. You owe it to yourself to enjoy them, don’t you?

Sadie xxx

A while ago I wrote about buying and using a dildo, but as far as I can recall, I’ve never actually written anything about buying a vibrator.

Never mind, I’m now going to correct the situation and let you know what you need to know to make the right choice.

1. Buy a vibrator that you think looks beautiful.
While it’s true that women aren’t as concerned by the visual aspects of sex as men tend to be, when it comes to choosing a vibrator, it’s important that you’re attracted to it. Not in quite the same way as you’d be attracted to a man, obviously, but along those lines.

2. Buy a vibrator that’s comfortable to hold.
Now that you’ve found a few vibrators that you think look good, it’s time to make sure they feel comfortable in the hand. You’re going to be holding on to this baby a lot, you know, so this is important.

3. Take your time.
There are lots of vibrators on the market so don’t just buy the first one you come across. Visit several shops if need be, until you find the one that feels right for you.

4. Be in the right mood.
There’s a time and a place for everything and just as there’s no point going shopping for clothes when you’re having a fat day, there’s no point shopping for a vibrator when you’re having a day where you just don’t feel sexy. Get yourself in the right frame of mind before you leave home.

5. Decide where you want to use it.
If you want to be able to use your vibrator when you’re on the move, don’t buy one that needs a mains power supply. Also, check how many batteries the vibrator needs and ask how long the expected battery life is.

So there you go. Sadie’s five tips for buying the perfect vibrator to suit you.

Sadie xxx

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buying a vibrator

China. That big place out east. Know it? Has a famous wall running though it.

Do you realise just how important that place is to those of us who enjoy our sex? Probably not. Well I’ll let you in, shall I?

75% of all available sex toys come from China! Yepp, chances are your vibrators, dildos, penis rings and love balls have all come winging their way from China.

Funnily enough, even though they’ve been providing us with sex toys for donkey’s years, the very first Chinese sex shop didn’t open until 1992, just 14 years ago. That was in Beijing. Today there are estimated to be around 2,000 of them there and scattered around the country are around 10,000 sex toy factories!

I wonder whether the Chinese use them much themselves? I mean, if there are that many factories — and Chinese factories are usually big — then a lot of people must be employed to make our latex friends. And I know from experience that if you spend too much time working with something, you quickly lose interest in it. Just as those who work at McDonalds!

Sadie xx

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sex toys

Evidently the owner of a sex shop has applied to Stockport council for a licence to stay open between 12noon and 4pm on Sundays during the run up to Christmas. He also has a shop in Bury where there’s never been a problem with this before and says that those who work 6 day weeks should be given the opportunity to buy their fruity festive gifts on a Sunday along with those who are buying more traditional gifts.

Sadly, it looks as if his application is going to be refused. Why? Because there’s a Christian Book Shop on the opposite side of the road and the local vicar says that having both that and the sex shop open on a Sunday will be sending the wrong message.

Now let me make it clear that this is only my opinion, but wouldn’t allowing both shops to open being giving the message that we live in a tolerant, secular society rather than a society where only the needs of one particular minority are met?

Maybe I’m wrong but surely if we don’t start accepting sexual activity as normal then we’ll never truly move on?

Sadie xxx

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sex shops

For those who are relatively new to swinging, creating an ‘essentials kit’ isn’t probably something they’ve thought of so here’s the run down on why you need one and tomorrow I’ll be posting to let you know what to put in it and why.

Your Essentials Kit will ensure that you always have with you what’s needed when you’re invited to parties. And for those who have never yet been to a party, knowing what to put in your kit is extremely useful because turning up at a party without the kind of things you need can be embarrassing and, at times, enough to stop you participating or being invited again.

Although no two couples (or singles, for that matter) carry the same essentials kit, there are certain items that really should be included. These are:

Condoms - As you know, it’s always better to be safe than sorry so sensible swingers always carry condoms. In fact, most party hosts won’t even entertain the idea of your participation without them.

Dental Dams - While not absolutely necessary, they’re worth having in the kit as they given protection during oral sex. Some people simply won’t give oral unless one’s used.

Lubricant – Whatever’s your favourite. Even if you don’t normally need it, be aware that some situations cause unexpected reactions so absolutely worth having in the kit.

Tissues – For wiping up any ’spills’.

Breath Mints – Need I explain why?

Toys – Take along your favourites and perhaps a couple of ’standard’ toys that most will enjoy. You might want to consider:

7″ Smooth Vibe
6.5″ Scarlet Pole Rider

Extra Batteries – You don’t want the fun spoiled by toys suddenly coming to a halt, do you?

Viagra – Well, you just never know when you might need it, do you?

Your bag should be big enough to easily carry the essentials along with a few others bits and pieces such as alcohol (most parties are ‘bring your own drink’), lingerie and dressing up clothes and accessories.

Try to find one that has plenty of compartments so that you can easily find the item you’re looking for and consider fitting a padlock instead of closing it with a key. Having to keep a key on your person for the duration isn’t always practical!!

By being prepared your chances of having a wonderful evening full of fun and games is far greater so as much you may think the idea of an essentials bag is unnecessary, believe me - once you get into the swinging scene you’ll realise just how useful it is.

Sadie xxx

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swingers advice

Have you ever heard of phthalates? No, it’s not a prehistoric animal, it’s a carboxylic acid ester commonly used to make plastics more flexible and mouldable.

Apparently, some adult products (that’s sex toys, in case you don’t know) contain phthalates and phthalates are potential health hazards. If they leak out and become absorbed into the body, the response could be anything from irritation, headache and reddening of the skin to cancer. In pregnant women, a risk could be that little boys are born with smaller than average genitals.

But don’t go getting too upset. It takes quite a bit of the stuff to make any real affect and as long as you buy good quality toys, you should be ok. Cheap and cheerful importers are more likely to distribute badly made toys that contain high amounts of phthalates. But if you really want to be sure, you could always cover your vibe with a condom.

It goes without saying that sex toys should be thoroughly washed after each use, not only because of the phthalates risk but also because of STDs and well… you’d wash your genitals after sex, wouldn’t you? Treat your toys the same way!

I hope I haven’t scared you because that wasn’t my meaning. It’s just worth knowing these things, that’s all. I intend to carry on using my toys because, let’s face it, we stand more risk of seeing the curtains come down when we drive our cars than we do because of using a vibrator or rubber pussy!

Sadie xx

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sex toys

While it’s always fun to buy some lovely looking sex toys that are specifically designed to satisfy certain needs, having fun in the sack doesn’t have to cost a fortune. Just take a look around your house and you’ll probably find lots of bits and bobs that you can use in bed.

Ideas include:

A fly swatter for spanking
A spatula for spanking
Clothes Pegs - I’ll leave those up to your imagination
Ear Plugs - sensory stimulation can be incredibly exciting when you can’t hear anything
Ice - suck it before giving oral or insert a cube inside her. If you buy one of those fun penis chocolate forms, you could even make an ice dildo.

It’s really just a matter of keeping an open mind as you go about your day to day business and using your imagination to figure out what you might do with various articles that you’ll find in cupboards and drawers.

Sadie xx

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swingers advice

OK folks, first of all let’s make one thing clear. A dildo is not the same as a vibrator. A dildo is shaped like a dick and made of either latex or silicon jelly whereas a vibrator is hard and smooth.

Dildos come in all sorts of colours and are available in every size from a standard 6 inches to fully-grown donkey (or thereabouts), the latter of which would share the hell out of me! If you’re buying your first one, I’d suggest your stick with a standard kind of size.

Apart from size, the most important thing to think of is how you’re going to use your dildo. Hand held in bed? In the bath? Positioned on a table or chair so that you can sit on it? Or maybe you need a strap on version to use to satisfy your lady friends? There are even “double dongs” available - a thick rubber shaft with a penis head on each end.

If you’re going to be using yours in the bath or shower, it stands to reason that it must be waterproof, especially if it’s the kind that uses batteries.

Although the obvious way to use a dildo is fully inserted and thrusting in the vagina, dildos are great to use during foreplay too. Try rubbing against the clit — either yours or your partners — followed by some shallow fucking. Insertion into the vagina at an angle will stimulate the g-spot and some women (and men) enjoy gentle rectal insertion. Always remember, though, that any full insertion has to be done carefully. A dildo is NOT a penis and can do far more damage if abused.

Dildos certainly bring a new dimension to the bedroom, but remember to use a condom on your dildo if sharing with anybody other than your permanent partner.

Oh, and did you know it’s possible to buy a “make your own dildo kit”? Evidently so. I’ll have to look into that one - I wouldn’t mind having a “mini Malc” with me when I’m away from home

Sadie xxx

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If you’ve been thinking about using and sharing sex toys in a group setting, your very own Aunt Sadie has these words of wisdom for you.Introducing your sex toy in a group environment obviously requires consent, so talk about the idea beforehand with your swinging partners.

So let’s say you have consent from your group to use your sex toy, you’re armed and lusty, but what now?

You could start things off with a sensuous group massage with heat sensitive oils, just to rake up the embers. Make delightful caresses with French ticklers, feathers or fur gloves. By stoking the coals you’ll get everyone’s fires started.

When everyone is heating up, why not try some light paddling, blindfolds or a vibrator massage?

Double ended dildos can make mischievous how-do-you-dos, while clitoral stimulators can put the finishing touch on your red hot bonfire.

With the dazzling variety of sex toys available, the possibilities for group play seem endless.

Use your imagination to make the most of your group sex toy experience. Just try to be creative and have lots of fun but remember that sex toy must be kept clean and free of bacteria.

If you plan on using your sex toy for penetration, it’s extremely important that you never use it penetrate the anus and then penetrate the vagina without a proper cleaning and do use condoms on any toys used for penetrative sex. Condoms provide a barrier against infection and are an absolute must.

Have lots of fun folks!

Cock rings. We’ve all heard of them but a lot of us haven’t a clue what they’re all about. So here goes: Sadie’s guide to using a cock ring.A cock ring goes around the base of the penis and scrotum allowing the blood to flow into the penis, thus engorging it, but restricting the blood from flowing out again. In other words, the penis stays hard longer.

The mistake most often made is trying to put a cock ring on after the penis is erect. Forget it. It ain’t gonna happen. You have to put it on a flaccid penis, whether you like it or not.

Cock rings are generally made of either chrome or rubber and because these need to fit properly, shouldn’t be bought via mail order or the Internet. If the cock ring’s too loose it won’t work, and if it’s too tight it’ll be way too uncomfortable once the penis is erect. Not only that, you could find that your dick won’t go down again leaving you with no other choice than to take a trip to A&E to have it removed.

There is another typetype of cock ring available, though. These are made from leather with snappers to use to adjust the size. Obviously, these can be ordered online or by mail order and, for beginners at least, are probably the safest choice.

To put a cock ring on, the balls have to be threaded through the ring first, and then the penis. The reason it has to be done in this order is because a flaccid penis can be squeezed and tucked in order to fit through the ring, whereas — as any man will tell you — the balls need careful handling. Removal is the reverse of this process.

So there you go - Sadie’s guide to cock rings.

I’m off to find Malc’s cock ring now so that I can have some fun of my own.

Sadie xx

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