Yesterday I gave you a quick run through how to finger a woman and being as I said I’d come back to male masturbation later when I wrote about oral sex earlier in the week, today seemed like a good time to dive into the subject.

First of all, the same rule applies to women as to men - be careful! Men don’t want their todgers yanked away from their bodies!

Second rule: remember that all men are different. Just because one likes you to grip his cock hard and squeeze his balls while wanking him, doesn’t mean the next guy’s going to want the same. As with everything sexual, what works is largely a matter of trial and error. And believe me, that’s coming from somebody who’s had sex with more partners than I’ve had … well, hot dinners!

Try different hand positions (thumb and forefingers on the shaft - whole hand gripping the shaft), different stroke speeds, different motions (move your hand directly up and down - use a circular motion) and different intensities with regard to the pressure you apply.

If you want your man to come quickly it’s important you keep your stroke going in the same rhythm when he approaches orgasm. If you want to draw it out, slow down when you notice he’s getting close to bring him slightly off the boil again. But that doesn’t mean stop.

You could try lubricating your hands before masturbating him and holding around him with both hands to simulate a vagina.

Use your imagination and listen to what your partner tells you. Watch his physical reactions and above all else, enjoy pleasuring him.

Sadie xxx

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This one’s following on from yesterday’s post because while it’s important to understand the clit, you won’t get far without knowing how to stimulate her pussy.First of all, it’s really important that she’s wet enough before you try pushing your fingers inside her. This is where stimulating the vulva and clitoris can be useful, but if she’s still not properly lubricated, get some saliva or lubricating fluid down there.

Once she’s good and wet it’s time to start opening her up. Don’t just shove your fingers inside - take it from me, that just isn’t erotic. In fact, it’s bloody uncomfortable and will probably put her right off.

What you need to do is gently massage the opening to her vagina, sliding a finger inside as you go. Once you have one finger inside, move it rhythmically until she opens enough to enable you to insert two.

Two fingers inside mean you can give her lots of mind-blowing stimulation. Move your fingers alternately inside her, open them sideways, pushing against the walls of her vagina, twist them around… try out different ways of moving your fingers and watch how she reacts. As with clitoral stimulation, her body language will tell you what works and what doesn’t.

And if you want to put icing on the cake (and who doesn’t?), gently rub her clit while you’re fingering her. Believe me, if you give her what she wants in this department, you’ll be guaranteed some intense sex to follow.

Sadie xxx

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What a wonderful piece of equipment nature gave women! A mini penis? Never in your life! A penis can’t be stimulated to orgasm several times in a row, can it?

If you’re into swinging, or just into sex with your partner, knowing how to stimulate the clitoris is important. Believe me, if you fumble in the dark, so to speak, you won’t find many women wanting to share their beds with you.

It’s important to remember that how much stimulation a woman likes differs vastly. Some like to have direct stimulation of the clitoris while others can hardly bare to have it touched and are happier with pressure on the vulva. For this reason, always start carefully. Rub her vulva gently and see how she reacts. If she’s pushing herself into your hand, she wants you to give her more stimulation, if she’s relaxing and enjoying it, that’s exactly where she wants you to go.

If she isn’t wet enough — and some women do have trouble with this, especially older women — use your mouth to add some extra lubricant. Either apply saliva with your fingers or, if she’s happy receiving oral sex, with your mouth.

What’s important is that you let the woman lead the way. Don’t rush her. It can take a while before a woman orgasms but that doesn’t mean she isn’t enjoying it. Watch her body language - that’ll tell you lots.

Sadie xxx

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