It’s been a while since I last placed an ad on a swingers dating site but seeing some of the replies a friend of mine recently received brought it all back to me.Guys – take some advice from a lady who knows what she’s talking about.

Responding to an ad with something like “Hi darling. How about letting me fill you up with my 9 inch cock? I know just what a woman wants and if you meet me, you won’t be disappointed” isn’t likely to impress anybody.

If that guy really knew what a women wanted, he wouldn’t be bragging about his 9 inches! Come on, who do you think you’re kidding? Have you any idea how many men actually have cocks that size? Some tiny percentage, that’s how many! And just as well, because while a lot of gay blokes may go wild at the prospect of a big dick, most women are much happier with the standard 6 – 7 inches. A vagina just isn’t designed to take a donkey, don’t you know!

Second mistake. Don’t go on and on about your divorce and that because you’ve been hurt by women you’d much rather just have some no-strings sex than get involved again. Not only is it bloody boring, but women generally aren’t interested in blokes who come across as “women haters”. We don’t want to be “used” just because we’re swingers, y’know!

Just send a friendly email letting her know a bit about you and what you like but without being crude (just because we swing doesn’t mean we’re into crudity, either) and show interest in her, too. Ask her questions so that she has something to reply to. Don’t brag and don’t make promises you can’t keep.

Now get yourself back to that dating site and try again.

9 inch cock, ha bloody ha!

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