Just a short one today as I’ve been really busy.

I’ve noticed that as soon as people find out I’m a swinger, they expect me to be having rampant, gratuitous sex every day, for breakfast, lunch and tea. They imagine that the only thing I ever think about is where the next shag’s coming from and that I’m not in the least bit fussy who I have sex with.

What a load of bollocks!

What they don’t expect is for me to enjoy a good old fashioned kiss and cuddle, but we swingers need that kind of comfort and warmth in our relationships, too. In fact there are times when I really don’t want anything more than to get naked and sit in the sofa with Malc, his arm around me while I cuddle up to him, my head resting on his chest, while we watch a film and share a bottle of wine. Bliss!

Everybody needs a good cuddle sometimes so if you’re one of those swingers who believes all body contact has to orbit around sex, think again. Kissing and cuddling can go a long way and is hugely important for bonding.

Try it. I think you’ll like it.

Sadie xxx

uk swingers

Oysters, asparagus, bananas, figs and eels are all supposed to make us want to grab our partners and bonk the lives out of them. But do they? And if they do, why do they?

Whether or not they really work from a scientific point of view is still up for debate, but there seems to be no doubt that they do something that tends to lead a person to wanting more sex. In all probability, the answer is that it’s all in the mind.

Asparagus, bananas and eels are all phallic shaped, thus reminding us of something that’s very much related to sex. When we eat bananas and asparagus, we’re able to run our tongues around the tips and suck them between our lips, reminding ourselves and whoever happens to be sp-ectating that the mouth can be a very desirable and sexual object. As for eels… well, I’ll leave that one to you. I personally can’t imagine either licking or sucking them and to be honest, the only ones I’ve ever seen have been cut into chunks and served in jelly down in London’s East End.

When it comes to oysters and figs, evidently it’s the visual aspect that turns us on. Why? Because they resemble a woman’s vulva. I personally can’t see the similarity between my vulva and a fig, but an oyster… yes, that’s sexy!

When I mentioned this to my mother, her reaction was that muscles more closely resembled a woman’s “downstairs” (she’s pretty broad-minded but still has trouble describing her bits). “Think about it,” she said. “They even have hair”. I thought about it and yes, it was true – they do have hair at the top of the split where two dangling lips are cocooned between what could easily be two outer lips. Why, I wonder, are muscles never named as an aphrodisiac?

Suggestion is a powerful tool and if foods that remind us of our sex organs do the business then we should go ahead and enjoy them.

Sadie xxx

aphrodisiacs

Could this be the explanation as to why some of us are more likely to become swingers than others?

According to research that’s been carried out at St. Thomas’ Hospital in London, infidelity (the need to have sex with somebody other than our life partner) could well be due to our genetic make-up.

Evidently, the reason this was first considered is due to the way twins lead their lives; especially their sex lives. If one twin exhibits infidelity (I hate using the term “is unfaithful” as, like any swinger knows, having sex with somebody other than your partner doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not being faithful), the other twin has a 55% chance of following suit, even if that twin doesn’t know that the first twin has “strayed”.

This may not sound particularly surprising, but when you consider that the chance of infidelity amongst the general population is just 23%, then it’s obviously much higher amongst twins.

The scientist in charge of this research has said that the tendency to exhibit infidelity is a personality trait, but personality is governed by both genetic and social factors so twins’ upbringing could also play a role. He has no doubt, though, that genetics are involved.

Interesting, don’t you think?

Sadie xxx

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uk swingers

When couples meet for swinging play, it’s important that they lay down some ground rules before playtime begins but for those who are new to the scene, actually talking about what’s expected can be more difficult than actually having sex.

But it is important that things are discussed and some subjects are naturally more sensitive than others. Things you might want to discuss beforehand include:

• Whether a man can penetrate the woman who isn’t their partner
• Whether the men should ejaculate into a condom or, of not, where?
• Whether the men are happy to touch each other and, if so, where and how?
• As above but from the female point of view
• Whether you’re all happy giving and receiving oral sex
• Whether or not kissing is acceptable
• Whether or not anal sex can be practised

The isn’t an exhaustive list and each couple will no doubt have questions of their own that need to be discussed beforehand.

Just remember that no matter how uncomfortable it feels to raise these subjects, it’ll be far more uncomfortable if you get into a situation during play that you’re unhappy with and that not setting the ground rules beforehand can lead to negative swinging experiences.

Sadie xx

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uk swingers

Are you one of those guys who’s worried that when it comes to the crunch, so to speak, you just won’t be able to get it up? If you are then believe me, you’re not alone.

There are methods of overcoming the problem though so if you’re having trouble with it, it’s worth giving them a go.

Relax
I know that’s easier said than done but honestly, if you can just relax and let whatever happens happen, you’ll stand a far better chance of actually getting it up.

Slow Down
There’s no rush is there? Take your time over foreplay and don’t think about penetration while you’re satisfying her with your fingers and tongue. If you do get it up, fair enough, use what you have to satisfy her too but it’s nothing to rush into.

Lower Your Expectations
Most men with performance anxiety have high expectations of their own performance. They expect to keep going until they’ve given their partner a dozen orgasms and then come simultaneously with her. Let’s be honest, this might happen all the time in porn films but this is real life and it seldom happens. Get real and lower those expectations.

Live in The Hear and Now
Men with performance anxiety often get distracted by thinking of everything that could go wrong instead of just enjoying what’s happening right now. By concentrating on what’s going on in the bed (or wherever you are) you won’t be able to worry so much and the chances of your getting it up will be much higher.

So there you are. I can’t guarantee they’ll work but anything worth a try, isn’t it?

Sadie xx

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male sexuality

If there’s one thing that male swingers dislike about sex in clubs it’s that they can’t have a snooze after they’ve cum.

Y’see, the fact that men have a tendency to fall asleep within five minutes of reaching the finishing line isn’t anything personal, it’s because the male orgasm releases prolactin which is also found in breast milk and is responsible for sending babies to sleep after their feed.

I suppose you could say this is just another piece of proof that men never really grow up but I really would have thought that swingers clubs would have cottoned on to this by now, especially as most of them are owned by men, and provided ‘rest rooms’ where guys could go for half an hour after sex. That way they’d be far more lively and ready for action again so more women would go home feeling satisfied.

Perhaps I should start a club of my own with comfy rest rooms for the men? I mean, the ladies won’t even notice they’re gone because we’re more than capable of entertaining each other while we’re waiting for their return

Sadie xx

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male sexuality

Lots of men and women dream of having sex with two others and I’m certainly one of them.

I regularly enjoy a threesome both with two men and with another woman and a man. Both types of threesomes have their attraction and I wouldn’t want to have to give up one for the other.

The two male and one female threesome is the one that most men have difficulty with, but it really shouldn’t be a problem. Why on earth should men have the pleasure of enjoying two ladies in bed with them but not be willing to give a woman the same pleasure back?

The reason is that a lot of men are afraid to be seen as gay. Because women often enjoy having sex with each other, men who have no experience of MMF threesomes think they’re going to be expected to have sex with another man. But that’s simply not the case.

Women understand that most men aren’t bi-sexual and, to be honest, most women wouldn’t even be turned on by two men sucking each other, let alone having anal sex. What women want is to be serviced by two virile men who are willing to do whatever’s necessary to satisfy her. Of course, she’s also willing to give them pleasure back, so no worries there, lads.

Sure, if you’re going to get involved in a MMF threesome, you’ll have to expect a certain amount of bodily contact with the other male. It’s nigh on impossible to have sex without at least brushing against one another. That won’t mean anybody will think you’re gay, though.

Bring some humour to the bedroom with you and I’m pretty sure you’ll soon find that a MMF threesome can be as much fun as the MFF version, just in a different way. And after all, you do want your woman to enjoy the ultimate in male servicing, don’t you?

Sadie xxx

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group sex

Everybody loves trivia so today I thought I’d offer you some sex trivia that I’ve collected over the past weeks.

Ok, let’s get going…

1. Did you know that apart from humans, dolphins are the only other mammals that have sex for fun? They even have foreplay in that the male gives the female a feel up round her…hmm… I’m not sure what you’d call it on a dolphin and I sure as hell can’t say between her legs, but you know where I mean, don’t you? Anyway, he does that before he gives her one.

2. I bet you didn’t know that the average man will have around 7,200 orgasms in the course of his life? And what’s more, he’ll have given himself half of them whilst having a wank!

3. Did you know that the blue whale’s penis is over 3 metres long? Talk about make your eyes water!

4. Next time you sit down for a bowl of cornflakes, give some thought to why they were first developed. Back in 1883, they were developed as a medicine to dampen the female libido. Masturbation was a sin back then (unless a doctor prescribed it as a treatment against hysteria!) and cornflakes were meant to prevent women from wanting to fiddle with themselves. That’s enough to put you off cornflakes for life, isn’t it?

5. The first dildo was probably made back in 500 bc and was made of wood. I just hope whoever used it didn’t get splinters!

That’s your lot for today. I’ll try to remember to give you some more bits of useless information another time.

Sadie xxx

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sex trivia

How often haven’t you arrived home from work, all tensed up and stressed, and wished somebody would give you a full-body massage?

I know I have, and I know Malc has, too. That’s why we decided to learn how to give each other a sensual massage and have never looked back since.

You know, when a couple get naked, everything they do doesn’t necessarily have to lead to sex. The intimacy of being naked together in a candle lit room, touching and rubbing each other, can be just as good as full intercourse at times. Everything has its place.

It’s important that you have a good quality massage oil as anything else just doesn’t set the right mood. Baby oil will work but the scent isn’t right. Most people don’t want to be reminded of babies while they’re being massaged! My personal favourite is Sweet Almond, which smells delicious. I wonder which one you’d like most.

These oils contain natural essential oils, skin-smoothing emollients and nourishing Vitamin E so you’ll be doing your skin good while you’re massaging. That can’t be bad, can it? You don’t need a whole lot either – a little goes a long way.

Along with the oils, I use a Hand Massager, this time from She Desires. With one of these nifty little gadgets, you don’t need to worry about your technique because just by increasing and decreasing the pressure, you’ll be able to give the massage of a lifetime.

I’m not saying that a relaxing massage is everybody’s cup of tea but if your partner tends to feel stressed in the evening, it’s well worth giving it a try.

Sadie xxx

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adult massage

Once upon a time having a bikini wax meant having ’some’ of the hair removed so that nothing would escape from beneath the fabric of one’s bikini bottoms. Now? Rip it all out, baby!

Being a bit of a wimp, I held off for ages but knowing how much I enjoy the total smoothness of some of my lady friends, I finally gave in and spent yesterday afternoon at a salon having a Brazilian wax treatment. Every last hair was removed, front and back!

The feeling I’ve been left with is out of this world. Absolutely nothing can describe just how it feels to be baby smooth in the nether regions, and Malc can’t keep his hands (or his tongue) off!

But — and this has to be said — it’s painful! Not excruciatingly so, but certainly enough to make your eyes water! But then I suppose these things are relative to a person’s personal pain threshold. I personally find waxing my eyebrows reasonably painful, and let’s face it, your ‘downstairs’ is about 10 times more sensitive! Especially when the lady performing the waxing starts working on the area between the vulva! I did say every last hair would be removed, didn’t I?

If you’re happy to put up with some pain for the sake of beauty — and it does look beautiful, there’s no doubt about that — I’d highly recommend a Brazilian so why not treat yourself?

Sadie xxx

intimate waxing

Just because you’re a swinger doesn’t always mean there’s somebody available to shag, does it? No, that’s something we all know only too well!

Phone sex chat lines or whatever you’d like to call them are, in my opinion, one of the best inventions ever. No more sitting around wondering what to do, now it’s just a matter of pick up the phone and… well, let the fun begin.

Malc uses them quite a bit and now and then we make a call together. It’s fun, after all, so why not?

There are a few things you should be aware of:

Check Prices: Some lines charge far more than others without offering a better service. One of my favourites places to find good phone sex lines is The Daily Jolly.

Be Ready: Make sure you’re aroused when you call and have an idea of what kind of fantasy you want to talk about. Leaving it all up to the chat line worker just isn’t fair. She doesn’t know you and can’t guess at your tastes.

Understand the Fantasy: Unfortunately, some people get the wrong idea when they chat with the girls on the phone lines. Don’t ask them for dates, their home phone numbers or any other personal information. Remember, phone sex is a fantasy and that’s the way it has to be kept.

So now you know. Next time you’re at a loose end and the old porn mags and films just won’t cut it anymore, get dialling and masturbation will never be the same again

Sadie xxx

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uk phone sex

There are a couple of things that are sometimes seen in swingers ads and that newbie swingers don’t understand so I thought we’d take a look at them today.

D/D free
This one means that the couple/individual are disease and drug free. Most swingers who use this in their ads will have had a test to ensure that they have no venereal diseases or HIV otherwise there’s little point in mentioning it. After all, we can all guess that we’re disease free but can we really know for sure? Malc and I always demand that condoms are used otherwise there simply won’t be any play and that way you can be pretty sure that diseases aren’t being passed around. I don’t even give oral without protection unless I know the person really well.

V/Safe
This one means that the male has had a vasectomy so there will be no chance of pregnancy occurring. Again, if you use a condom this shouldn’t really be too much of an issue but there are times when the condom slips off and knowing that you don’t need to rush out and get a morning after pill can be helpful. I’m one of those people who never really trusts anybody until I’ve known them for a while, though, so even if the man insisted he’d had the snip, I’d still take my own precautions.

Sadie xxx

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swingers ads

Condoms. I doubt there’s anybody reading this who hasn’t used one at some point or another.

When I was a girl there wasn’t a whole lot of choice. We had plain ones, ribbed ones, a pack of rainbow colours condoms and black ones. That was about it.

But that’s all changed now. Condoms are available in all sorts of designs and colours, from luminous glow-in-the-dark condoms to ones that play Jingle Bells when you come! Yes, it’s true. I didn’t quite believe that last one either but Malc found them during a trip to Amsterdam and had to buy some. And they worked.

Well, when I say worked, what I mean is they played the tune but most of these novelty condoms don’t work if you’re using them to prevent pregnancy or STDs.

The camp seems to be divided when it comes to the effect of ribbed condoms. Personally, I think they enhance the pleasure but I have friends who say they can’t feel any difference so I guess it’s a matter of trial and error. If your partner can’t feel a difference there’s hardly any point in wasting money when plain condoms will do the job equally as well.

Flavoured condoms are a MUST if you’re using them in conjunction with oral sex. I won’t go down on anyone other than Malc without a condom on and I only the chosen few will persuade me to give them head whilst wearing a lubricated condom. Yuk!! Believe me, flavoured condoms really are the only way to go in this situation.

What’s important is that you always bear in mind that for a condom to be worth using, it must be safe and the only way to be certain of that is to use only condoms that bear either the British Standard Kite Mark, the EEC Standard Mark or the US FDA Approval Mark. And remember that condoms have an expiration date. Unless you want to risk pregnancy or the spread of nasty diseases, don’t be tempted to use any that are out of date. It just isn’t worth the risk.

Sadie xxx

Here are a few ‘did you knows’ to ponder.

An adult gorilla’s penis is only two inches long. Bet that’ll cheer up some of the lads around here

On the other hand, a rhinoceros has a penis that’s about two feet long! Glad I don’t have to deal with that one!

The sperm of a mouse is actually longer than the sperm of an elephant. Not that I’ve seen either, you understand.

The most successful X-rated movie of all time is Linda Lovelace’s ‘Deep Throat’. No surprise there!

Apparently, if you’re a male aged between 20 and 30 who ejaculates at least five times a week, there’s a significantly lower risk of your developing prostate cancer in later life. That’s reason enough to masturbate

The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right-handed men. The opposite is true for lefties. No, don’t run off yet to check. There’s more!

Egyptians inserted stones into their vagina to prevent pregnancy. Ouch!

According to the Kinsey Institute, half of the men raised on farms have had a sexual encounter with an animal. Hmmm…. my Malc’s a country boy!

According to statistics, Australian women are the most likely to have sex on the first date. (Now now, lads – that’s no reason to start planning immigration)

Great conversation starters, aren’t they?

Sadie xxx

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uk swingers