Herpes — or HSVII — is a nasty highly contagious infection that’s easily transmitted during intercourse or other intimate contact with the genitals, mouth or rectum.

The problem with herpes is that, although it’s at its most contagious when sores can be seen, it can be caught when there are no visible signs that a potential partner has the virus.

If you’ve ever had a cold-sore on your lip you’ll know what herpes is and an outbreak of genital herpes feels very similar; tingling and itching in the genital area followed by small blisters that can appear in groups or individually. Eventually the blisters burst leaving wet ulcers that hurt like hell when touched and sex often becomes too painful to even consider. Some people also experience flu like symptoms, vaginal discharge, painful urination and an enlarged and tender lymph node in the groin.

So how do you make sure you don’t catch it?

The most obvious answer is to ALWAYS use a condom. I know I’ve often mentioned the importance of condoms when swinging but I really can’t stress often enough just how important it is.

Also, if you notice that somebody has sores on their mouth, avoid oral sex with them (that includes oral-anal). Even though the sores we develop on our mouths are HSV-I, they can still infect the genitals.

Sadly, once you’ve contracted herpes, you’ll have it for life. There’s no cure so the virus will always stay with you and although you’ll probably have long, sore-free periods, you’ll still be a carrier and will feel very uncomfortable during outbreaks.

Luckily I’ve managed to avoid it but I have friends who have been unlucky and they all wish that they’d been more careful. Be sensible, please, and don’t become one of the statistics.

Sadie xx

~~+~~

sexual health

I have to tell you about an experience me and Malcolm (my other half) had a few weeks ago.I saw the ads for phone sex in the back of one of our magazines, and knowing Malc phones these lines now and then I asked him about them. After a chat he suggested we try one together. Well you know me, always up for trying something new so that evening we called one of the live call-back lines and explained that we’d like to speak to a girl who’d be happy to entertain a couple. No problem.

About ten minutes later a lovely sounding girl phoned us back. We had a handset each (aren’t cordless phones a godsend?) and before we knew it, we were talking dirty and getting very hot under the collar. Hold on! Collar? What collar? My top and bra had come off within the first minute of the call!

Malc came pretty quickly – listening to ‘Holly’ whilst watching me masturbate was obviously too much for him – and went down between my legs to help things move along for me. Wow! What an experience.

Let me tell you that phone sex for couples is red hot fun! Why not try it? Believe me, until you do, you won’t have a clue what you’re missing.

Sadie xxx

~~+~~

A good friend of mine has a thing about transvestites, the thing being that she can’t keep her hands off of them. As she says, they satisfy her bi-sexual desires in one shot!

I can definitely see where she’s coming from there, although I can’t imagine a trannie ever satisfying my lust for other women; after all, they don’t have tits or pussies, two integral parts of what attracts me to women in the first place.

But this blog isn’t about what I like, it’s about swinging and sex in general and there’s no doubt that there’s definitely a market for women who like sex with transvestites. I have tried once, and would probably try again given the opportunity, but most of the trannies I know are straight gay (if that isn’t a contradiction of terms, then God knows what is!) and aren’t interested in sleeping with women. I know they’re out there, though – my friend finds plenty of them!

Wanting to pass on some of her experience to you, I asked her for advice on how to meet transvestites and luckily, she was happy to share.

“Use newspapers and the Internet,” she said. “There are lots of websites that bring swingers together and if you advertise specifically for a male transvestite for sex, making it clear that you’re female, you should get enough response to keep you happy for a while.”

Obviously, you have to be prepared to travel. The chances of finding a dozen trannies who want sex with women in a small town is probably like looking for the proverbial needle, but if you “have can, can travel”, there shouldn’t be a problem. Or maybe he can travel to you? Or why not meet for a drink at a spot that’s half way and, if you hit it off, shack up in a motel for the night?

If you fantasise about sex with a transvestite, there’s no reason why your dream shouldn’t come true. They’re out there – go find them!

Sadie xxx

Now that spring has finally arrived, women everywhere will be rushing off to the gym, getting their bodies toned and bronzed, ready for the summer season. But if you want good sex, you have to think about the pelvic muscles, too!

Yes, I know they’re a bit boring because you can’t see the results of the work you put into training them but, believe me, when it comes to sexual satisfaction, you’ll be glad you did.

While most people think of toning the pelvic muscles as a way of combating embarrassing leakages, there’s far more to it than that. Regular pelvic floor exercises tighten the vagina thus giving you a nice, snug fit. And the snugger the fit, the greater the stimulation for both partners.

But there’s more. If you want better and more frequent vaginal orgasms, you’ll be pleased to know that exercise increases the blood flow to the vaginal muscles, making it far more sensitive and heightening the likelihood of you getting what you want.

And the really good thing about pelvic floor exercises is that you can do them absolutely anywhere. While you’re watching telly, waiting for the bus, and even while you’re having sex! All you do is imagine you’re sucking something into your vagina and towards your back. Hold for a few seconds. Let go. Do it as often as you like – the more the merrier.

Here’s to lots of red hot sex this summer!

Sadie xxx

Boy did we have fun last night!

Malc and I were invited to a wench party, something we’d never experienced before and although we had to drive almost 70 miles to get there, I have to say that it was more than worth it!

I was a bit concerned about what to wear but a few discreet questions at our swingers club soon gave me the answers I needed and by the time we left home, I was looking like a proper Renaissance whore!

And that’s basically it. If you’re invited to a wench party, you need to dress up like one of those old fashioned harlots with their tits bursting out of the top of a tight corset.

This is what I wore:

• White blouse bought specifically for the party
• A black pvc corset that I already owned
• A short, red velvet full-circle skirt with white lace trimming that I made myself
• A black suspender belt
• Black fishnet stockings
• Black patent stilettos
• NO PANTIES!!

I did have a look at some of the catalogues I’m regularly sent from various sex shops I’ve given my custom to over the years but none of the ready-made wench outfits really appealed to me. But if you’d rather go that way, you can get some pretty ones from about £25 upwards. The reason I chose not to go the ready-made costume route was primarily because I like to be able to use my clothes more than once or twice, and everything I wore last night can be re-used in different situations.

Having said that, Malc and I have already decided we’re going to arrange our own wench party later in the year. I’ll let you know how that goes when the time comes.

Oh, and should you be wondering. The men don’t have to dress up at all. The only thing they have to do is have fun with the wenches!

Sadie xx

~~+~~

Ok guys, admit it, you love a woman to take care of her pubes don’t you? Even if she doesn’t remove them all, you still like her to keep them tidy, right? Well how about you? Isn’t it up to men to do the same to keep their women happy?

In my opinion, too many men just don’t care enough about their own pubes. Personally, I’d much rather go down on a guy who has a nice smooth shaft than one that has hairs halfway up it! Yuk!! And yet soooo many guys don’t care! Why is this? Do you think we like men that look like apes?

Let me tell you now, after doing my own personal survey amongst female friends from all age groups, the overall consensus is that men should shave! Some would like to see men take all their hair away but the majority just want them to tidy up. A little less length around the sack, and a smooth shaft please.

Is that really too much to ask for?

I don’t particularly like men who look like boys so prefer my men to keep some hair but a tidy up is a MUST.

I’ve written about the subject before — you can read it here — but it appears far too few of you have taken any notice.

Come on guys. Stop expecting of us what you’re not willing to give yourselves, eh?

Sadie xx

~~+~~

uk swingers

One of the questions I’m often asked is what BDSM is. Most people have heard of it but few outside the scene actually understand it.

First of all, BDSM stands for Bondage & Discipline (BD), Dominance & Submission (DS) and Sadomasochism (SM) and refers to any combination of these things.

If you tie your lover to the bed with silk scarves then you’re practising BDSM. If you spank him or her with a paddle, you’re practising BDSM. If you drip hot wax on your partners penis then you’re practising BDSM and if you attach nipple clamps to your woman then you’re also practising BDSM. In other words, a lot of activities are covered by BDSM even though the majority tends to think of it as being all whips, chains and rubber.

What’s essential in BDSM play is that there’s at least one submissive and one dominant person. Some people like to be submissive all of the time, and some like only to be dominant. Others like to switch between the submissive and dominant roles, depending on their mood and desires at the time.

The strange thing is, even those who turn their noses up at BDSM, believing that it’s just for weirdo kinky types, generally practise some form of BDSM at times, but without actually realising it. If you’ve ever tied your partner up or blindfolded him or her, then you’ll have practised BDSM. If you’ve ever so much as demanded they lay entirely still while you smother them in cream and lick it off, then you’ll have practised BDSM. It’s strange to think that a form of sexual pleasure that’s often considered to be a niche activity enjoyed by a few ‘pervy types’ is actually something that most of us enjoy in some form or another!

Sadie xxx

~~+~~

bdsm

Ok guys, it’s time to learn how to use your tongue in order to give a woman the ultimate pleasure. Sit down, get comfortable, and listen to Auntie Sadie.

Far too many men are loath to get down between a woman’s legs and start tonguing her because they’re afraid they’re going to do it wrong. Well listen up, guys. The chances of getting it wrong are about as great as the chance of finding a five pound note in whore’s knickers. It could happen, but it’s unlikely.

Women absolutely adore having their pussies licked. They love feeling your tongue run along the vulva, love feeling it dig around inside their vaginas, love feeling it lap their clitoris… in other words, they well and truly LOVE IT!

Try holding her lips open while you suck on her clitoris in much the same way as you’d suck ice cream off your finger. The clitoris is an extremely sensitive area, with just as many nerve endings as a man has in his glans but in a far more concentrated area, so don’t go tugging on it like a wild man. Suck gently at first and gradually build up as you feel her react to you.

Push your tongue inside her – in, out, around and around. Really taste her. There’s a reason this is called ‘eating pussy’. Think about it and do just that. Devour her.

There’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t go down on your lady and enjoy the taste of her paradise. It’s clean, it’s beautiful and it tastes divine!

Sadie xxx

~~+~~

oral sex

Well here we are, enjoying some free living with our friends Lita and John, and after a hot exchange of oral sex with John, I got to thinking that I really ought to post about safe oral sex.

Everybody knows that nasty stuff can be transmitted through penetration of the vagina or anus (don’t laugh at those words, d’ya hear me?) but what about good old cunnilingus and fellatio? That’s licking and sucking, in case you don’t know.

Let’s get one thing clear – the risk of HIV being transmitted during oral sex is FAR lower than it is during penetration, especially for the person being licked or sucked, but for the one doing the business, if you let a man cum in your mouth or go down on a woman who’s menstruating, then your risk increases A LOT. I would never let a man I didn’t know very well to cum in my mouth and I’d never go down on a woman who’s bleeding. In the case of giving a bloke a blow job, if he likes to shoot in the mouth then he’d have to wear a condom and pretend. Sorry, but there are no compromises there! Safety comes first.

It’s also worth considering herpes, even though it’s most likely to spread when the person giving head has an outbreak in the form of a cold sore. Believe me, I’ve seen genital herpes and it isn’t nice so if your partner has a cold sore, keep them away!

Right… back to my friends for some fun.

Sadie xxx

~~+~~

safe oral sex

Thinking of arranging your first swingers party? If you are, then that’s good because that means you’ve made some nice swinging friends with whom you have an evening of sexy fun to look forward to.

One of the things I’ve often noticed when I’ve attended parties hosted by first timers is that the lighting isn’t always right. Lighting, more than anything, really sets the mood.

How you light your house will depend entirely on what kind of party you’re arranging: a BDSM party would require a completely different ambience to a vanilla party which again might require something different to a fetish party. And depending on the fetish you’re going with, the lighting could change then, too.

Candles are almost always a good bet but avoid harsh overhead lighting whenever possible – it casts too many shadows and shows up every imperfection. Better to let your guests look as good as possible!

Sadie xxx

~~+~~

swingers parties

This job is, without a shadow of doubt, one of the best I’ve ever had. The people are great fun, the atmosphere’s second to none and even the pay’s decent. But do you know what I really like about this job? You lot!

I love the feedback I get. I’ve had emails telling me how much you look forward to reading my posts, emails thanking me for some piece of advice I’ve given that’s helped you along the swinging path, and sometimes the mail is just to say hi and to let me know that you’re out there.

We had to turn off the comments because, unfortunately, they were getting spammed. As you can no doubt imagine, the world and his ferret soon realised how popular this blog is and decided it’d be a good place to leave their crap advertisements for viagra, cialis, second rate porn sites and all sorts of junk you’d never believe. It’s a shame because it would have been great to have your feedback through the comments, but I just don’t have the time to keep clearing out the rubbish.

BUT… because I like to know how you feel about the blog, I’m always happy to receive email. If you’d like to drop me a line at any time, please feel free to do so on “sadie [at] adult-connexxxions [dot] co [dot] uk”. I’ve had to split the addy up like that because of the spam bots, but you can figure out how to use it, can’t you?

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sadie xxx

uk swingers

A new report shows that 8 of 10 British teenagers have sex for the first time whilst drunk and that, more often than not, they don’t use contraception. No wonder we’re topping the charts when it comes to unwanted pregnancies!!

I have to admit that my first time was also under such circumstances. I was 16, at a friend’s party, and as pissed as a polecat.

I’d always been a flirt so nobody was surprised when I spent the whole evening flirting with her older brother’s mate, Bob. He was pretty damned gorgeous as being as he played rugby, had a body that just about any girl in her right mind would want to get her hands on. And let’s face it, at 16 your hormones are all over the place and those that steer the sex drive are running wild!

I’ve no idea how much vodka I drank that evening but it was definitely far more than I was capable of handling and before I knew it, I was in my friend’s brother’s bedroom, half naked on the bed, being humped by Bob.

Was it good? Was it heck! The room was spinning, I thought I was going to puke all over him and it was bloody painful. Definitely not the best way for a girl to lose her virginity and it took me a long time to learn just how good sex could actually be.

If 80% of our teens are doing anything similar, I feel sorry for them. The first time should be the first step on the path of a long, healthy and satisfactory sex life but I can see quite a few getting the wrong end of the stick and being put off before they even get started.

We need to talk to our kids. Not give them the moral finger that says “wait until you find the one“, but explain to them how important it is to wait until the moment’s right, regardless of who they choose to have sex with. If it’s a one night stand, fair enough – just as long as they really want it.

Sadie xxx

~~+~~

teenage sex

Being as yesterday’s post was about giving head, I thought I’d offer you a few tips on making oral sex more exciting. Up for that? Of course you are!

Chilling
Regardless of which sex you’re pleasuring, try popping an ice cube in your mouth before you head south. The sensation is one of the most erotic I’ve experienced and I’ve yet to find anybody who hasn’t enjoyed it.

Warming
Opposite of the above – drink some warm tea or coffee before homing in on your partner’s cookie. Better still, suck some ice first and then drink some warm tea – both sensations following one another can’t be a bad thing!

Sing A Little Song
Ok, you don’t have to sing, but if you hum a tune while you’re down between a woman’s thighs you’ll have her reaching those dizzy heights in no time. It’s the vibration, y’know! Of course, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t try it on a man, but in my experience it’s the ladies who are most likely to react positively to this one.

Kiss and Swirl
This one’s simple as all you need do is imagine your man’s penis is an ice cream cone. Lick it in the same way and watch his reaction.

Oral sex is one of the most erotic ways of being brought to climax and making it more exciting can only be a good thing. Go for it!

Sadie xxx

oral sex

I can hardly believe the number of women and men who still believe that female ejaculation is a myth! Yes, that’s right – some women believe it too!

Because not all women experience ejaculation, some are unwilling to believe it happens at all, even though they’ve spoken to both men and women who will testify to having experienced it. The thing is, when a woman ejaculates it feels as if she’s going to pee so a lot of women hold back, believing that they’re about to embarrass themselves. Female ejaculate and urine come from the same place, you see, only where pee originates in the bladder, ejaculate originates in the g-spot (skenes gland). Ejaculate is also thicker than urine and contains glucose and prostatic acid phosphatase, a major component of semen.

How much a fluid will spurt out depends on how hydrated the woman is and how much she pushes during ejaculation. While some women may only release a teaspoon or so, others may gush several cups full.

Most people incorrectly believe that female ejaculation is directly related to orgasm. While it’s true that women can and often do ejaculate during orgasm, they can release fluid without either a g-spot or clitoral orgasm.

It’s also been said that only women who have given birth are able to experience ejaculation but once again, this isn’t true. I should know! I ejaculate regularly but have never had a child!

If you’re a woman who finds herself releasing fluid during sex, don’t worry about peeing yourself as the likelihood of that happening is extremely low. In all probability you’re ejaculating!

Sadie xx

~~+~~

female sexuality