When Malc and I placed an ad on a swingers site, we were surprised at the number of replies we had from couples wanting to speak to us via webcam and skype.

While neither of us are particularly worried about our lifestyle being discovered, it’s still not something we bandy about all over the place. How we lead our sexual lives isn’t anybody’s business but ours.

The reason we refused to use a webcam is because stills can easily be saved and distributed through cyberspace and, as I mentioned in an earlier post, photo collectors exist.

I’ll always maintain that if you’re interested in getting to know somebody you’ve met online then it’s better to arrange an informal meet at a café or similar without any previous exchange of photographs or webcam chats. OK, so maybe that’s a bit inconvenient if you’re not local but if you really think somebody’s worth meeting then surely they’re worth putting yourself out for, too?

Sadie xx

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uk swingers

OK, so maybe some of you will wonder why on earth I’m writing about the scrotum because, to you, it’s perfectly obvious what’s going on down there, but don’t imagine that because you know about things that everybody else knows the same. There are some people who are still learning and if I can help them understand something, whether it’s how the body works sexually or why sex toys can be good to use, then as far as I’m concerned, I’ve done something worthwhile.

Most people know the scrotum as “The Balls” and are the sacs that hang below and behind the penis. The scrotum contains the testes (also known as testicles) which are the male sexual glands.

The reasons the testes are hidden away inside the scrotum rather than just hanging there on view, is because they need to be kept at a constant temperature of 34 centigrade which is slightly below our overall body temperature of 37 degrees. It’s only while kept at the optimum temperature that the testes are able to produce sperm so it’s really important they don’t get too hot. That’s why a lot of doctors are telling guys who are trying to make their partners pregnant not to wear tight jeans and leathers etc, because they’re heating up the testes.

Inside the scrotum is also a tube called the epididymis. This is a kind of waiting room for mature sperm that are ready to be shot out in the hope of finding an egg to fertilise. Either that or they’ll come creeping out during the night.

So there you go. What the scrotum is and what it does. Just remember that too much pressure on the balls is painful for a guy, so unless you’re being attacked, be very careful with them.

Sadie xxx

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male genitalia

Now that summer’s fast approaching, I thought it’d be an idea to mention swinging whilst on holiday.

For many, the annual fortnight away means no swinging for the duration but that really doesn’t have to be the case. If you really want to carry on swinging and enjoying the opportunities that new places present, all you need to do is a bit of homework beforehand.

First of all, bear in mind that there are companies that arrange holidays specifically for swingers. These are available in most of the usual summer sun destinations as well as cruises and arranged by a variety of companies, all of which are easy enough to find just by typing “adult holidays” into Google.

Malc and I went on a swinger’s holiday to Malaga a few years ago and had a great time. Being able to relax amongst likeminded people made the holiday so much better, and it wasn’t as if you felt you had to swing 24/7. In fact, we didn’t take part in the parties nearly as much as we thought we would, but we’d still go again just because of the atmosphere.

If you prefer to just book an apartment, grab a cheap flight and head for this sun rather than book a “swingers package”, there’s still plenty of scope for swinging fun. Again, Google’s a fine thing! Before we left for Tenerife last autumn, I just typed in “tenerife swingers” and had enough information to keep us happy for the week. We even made friends with a couple who live down there so will be going back again this year.

Which reminds me, it’s about time I sorted something out for our summer holiday…

Sadie xxx

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swingers holidays

If you’re into latex and rubber and want to try something just a little different, why not try a latex sheet for your bed?

I’d seen them at our swingers’ club (they’re used to protect the mattresses) but hadn’t seen them on a private bed before last weekend.

A few weeks ago I told you about a friend who’d moved a boy slave into her house. Well when I went over a few days ago and stayed the night, I was amazed to find she had latex sheets on her bed! Not on the guest bed that I’d be using — I’m sure that would have been far too much of a waste — but on her bed. She’d been preparing for a session with her young friend.

I have to say, they did look good. They were black and sexy, and very appealing. But what’s more, you could actually sleep with them. And sleep comfortably, too!

How?

Well you could rip off the sheets to reveal satin sheets underneath and turn the duvet to expose a smooth satin reverse side that would be equally as sexy but far more comfortable to sleep under. Laila’s were black with red satin flip-sides. How sexy is that? And what a practical idea?

Neither Malc or I are into latex and rubber enough to buy these but I’m sure plenty of you are so if you’re interested in learning more, the sheets are available from Between The Sheets.

Sadie xxx

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latex and rubber

Malc and I popped into a sex shop yesterday afternoon. It was one of those blacked out window affairs with PRIVATE SHOP written above the door. Christ, how I hate those places!

But apart from Ann Summers’ shops, what else do we really have here in the UK? If my experience is anything to go by the answer’s “not a lot”! There may well be more on offer in your neck of the woods but where I live we have two of the above mentioned Private Shops and that’s it. Our neighbouring town has three (as far as I know) and an Ann Summers. Big deal!

Where are the open fronted, friendly sex shops that everybody over the legal age can feel comfortable entering?

When I visited Scandinavia a few years ago with a friend, sex toys, condoms, and novelties were openly displayed in the windows of brightly lit shops that anybody would feel happy to walk into. And indeed they were.

People of all ages and both genders were browsing the sex shops, and although there were a couple of young teens standing outside one shop, looking in the window and giggling, in general these shops didn’t attract any more attention than your average Top Shop or Virgin music store.

Why did we Brits develop an attitude towards sex that almost makes it a dirty word? Why shouldn’t we also have shops in our town centres that openly sell products that are designed to enhance our sex lives? “No Sex Please, We’re British” certainly still seems to stand when you compare our islands with other parts of Europe.

If you’re one of those who feels embarrassed by entering a sex shop, accept that it isn’t because it’s wrong but because of the way the sex shops are presented. It’s obvious that blacked out windows are going to give the wrong kind of signal so next time you want a vibe or whatever, walk in with your head held high and let the world know you’re proud to have a healthy sex life. Only then will things change.

Sadie xxx

sex shops

I’ve touched on the subject of mature swingers before, when I wrote about the older members of our swingers club, but today I want to look at a trend I discovered while messing around with “Google Trends” yesterday.

Do you remember I was looking at who’s most likely to search for what and discovered that Brummies must be either very horny or very deprived? Well something else turned up that I found interesting.

When I looked up the search term “mature swingers“, the following countries were represented: Norway, Austria, Holland, USA, Canada, Spain, Belgium and Switzerland. Obviously, we Brits just aren’t looking for information related to mature swingers.

Why?

Swinging really isn’t the domain of the young and nubile - it’s a lifestyle that can be enjoyed by everybody from the day sex becomes legal until we can no longer “get it up”, so to speak. Why does the UK have this taboo about sex amongst older people?

I had a chat with some friends about this last night, both young and old, and all of them agreed that the general consensus amongst folk is that older people didn’t ought to be doing it, let alone “putting it about”. Madness!

Sex has no age limits. I’m equally as happy to have sex with a 65 year old man as I am with a 25 year old, and as I’ve mentioned before, a young fit body is very nice but it’s no substitute for experience! And Malc often enjoy a roll in the sack with a lady who’s 69! And before you think “wrinkly”, just take a look at Joan Collins! How old’s she? Do you think she’s given up sex? I very much doubt it!

No matter how old you are, a swinging lifestyle can be enjoyed. Believe me, it isn’t swinger who will condone it, it’s those who know nothing about our way of life and therefore have no vote!

Rant over!

Sadie xxx

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mature swingers

It’s a fact of life that women sometimes need a little extra help in the lubrication department, especially those who are either experiencing the menopause or who are post-menopausal.

Sadly, many women feel embarrassed when they’re not naturally lubed but it really is something we all experience at times, even if not all women are willing to admit it. No matter how horny we’re feeling, we just don’t get wet enough to accommodate a man. A shame but nevertheless true.

What I generally do is have a little fondle before leaving for a club, party or private meet so that I can get an idea of the situation beforehand. If I get nice and juicy, all’s well. If not, then I know I’ll probably need some lube with me.

What I do is take along a bottle of lubrication and slip into the loo before the ‘party’ begins. That way I get myself ‘juiced up’ before I get into the action and there will be no embarrassing moments where I have to explain that I’m going to need… blah blah blah. Yes… that can be embarrassing and I feel for those ladies who find themselves in that situation.

A little foresight and some lube in your bag is all that’s needed, though.

Sadie xx

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swingers advice

I had a swinging friend come to me for advice yesterday and her query was one that I think quite a few swingers probably have.

Her ‘problem’ was that she isn’t always in the mood for sex but, because she generally enjoys sex so much (and let’s face it, you have to be if you’re gonna join the swinging lifestyle) she worries that there’s something wrong with her, to the point where she was actually thinking she might even be bi-polar.

I assured her that she had absolutely no reason to worry - that I seriously doubt there’s a swinger alive who’s up for it 100% of the time and that women, especially, are likely to have strong variations in their sex drive.

I certainly don’t feel like it all of the time, and neither does Malc. In fact, that’s one of the reasons why we first decided we were happy to allow each other to swing alone, because that way we weren’t dependent on swinging only during the time when both of us were ‘up for it’.

Our energy levels change depending on how busy we’ve been, the demands on our work/families and how our hormones are acting. Some also say that biorhythms play a role although I have to admit to not knowing anything about that.

Anyway, the point is, don’t worry just because you don’t feel like swinging 100% of the time. There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just being human.

Sadie xxx

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swinging uk

One of the problems women often have is that their men are apprehensive about going along with a MMF threesome because of their fear of touching another man (or being touched).

While I can understand the problem, it’s important that men understand that in a MMF there WILL be some degree of touching but that it won’t necessarily be deliberately erotic. It’s hard, after all, for two men to move around a woman without brushing against each other at some point.

It’s sad that our society has taught men that touching each other is a bad thing because in truth, humans need to touch each other in order to stay healthy. Men in our society tend to believe that if they touch each other in a sexual situation, even if it’s just a matter of brushing against each other, then that makes them gay.

What a silly conception! I regularly touch other women and I even have sex with them but I don’t see myself as a lesbian. I don’t even see myself as bi-sexual in that I wouldn’t be comfortable in a relationship with another woman. I enjoy sex with women but that’s it. To be gay takes a lot more than just sex.

If you’re a man who’s worried about a MMF threesome for this reason, please lighten up. Touching won’t hurt you and it isn’t a threat to your masculinity. And why should you get the pleasure of a MFF threesome but deny your partner the pleasure of a MMF?

Sadie xx

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swingers advice

I’ve spoken of this before but that’s no reason to not mention it again. After all, you may not have been reading this blog way back when I last spoke about it and it’s important you really understand its importance.

What is it?

Going along with any suggestion of sex without a condom!

Apart from when having sex with a long-term trusted partner, nobody should ever risk their health by having sex without a condom. It’s just plain stupid.

And yet every day there are people — intelligent people — being diagnosed with all sorts of STDs, some nastier than others, that could so easily have been avoided. STDs are on the risk again and it’s up to each and every one of us to rein that back in.

Having an STD yourself is bad enough, but during the time between your picking it up and your being diagnosed you could have passed it on to yet more ‘risk takers’.

Luckily, the swinging scene is generally comprised of responsible people who wouldn’t dream of having sex without using a condom but there will always be exceptions to the rule – that one who begs you to go along with it because he or she “hasn’t been without anybody else without a condom for so long there couldn’t possibly be any risk.” Ha! If that were really the case, what makes this particular time so different?

Ok, so condoms aren’t brilliant, probably less so for men than for women, but they’re a damned sight better than STDs so do yourself a favour and don’t ride bareback

Sadie xx

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safe sex

There are times when a girl has no option but to turn to the Internet for satisfaction. Such was the case last night.

Malc’s been away for the weekend and won’t be back until later today so I’d pretty much resigned myself to an evening at home with a box of chocs and a DVD but come 11 o’clock I was feeling horny. I could have invited a friend over but that would have meant getting dressed up and I really couldn’t be bothered. So I logged onto the net.

To cut a long story square, I had cyber with a girl in a chat room. I couldn’t get my webcam to work (I’m not techno minded I’m afraid) so we decided she wouldn’t put hers on either. That was fine because imagination is a powerful tool. She told me what she wanted to do to me: spread my legs, run her tongue up the inside of my thigh, brush my clitoris with her tongue… more, more… MORE!

I didn’t touch myself until I was red hot and couldn’t take any more. By that time my knickers were sodden and it took no more than a few seconds for me to cum like crazy!

If you haven’t tried cyber sex then let me tell you you’re missing out big time! Some people laugh and say it isn’t real sex but just what the hell is ‘real’? It turned me on and brought me off so that’s real enough for me!

Sadie xxx

cyber sex

I meant to tell you about this a while ago but other things got in the way and it went clean out of my head. Still, better late than never, eh?

Malc and I had arranged to have a few friends over. Not a full flung swinger’s party as such, but 8 of us having some fun together. Anyway, we wanted to do something to make the evening a bit more fun than just your average “sit around having a drink and end up draped over furniture and on the floor having a bunk up” type party! That’s when Malc came up with the following idea.

What we did was take a deck of cards and hide 8 of them around the house. Obviously, we made sure they were in place where our guests would be able to find them (nobody wants to go hunting through other’s bedroom drawers, do they?) but where it wouldn’t be too easy. Because there were 8 of us, we hide 2 cards from each suit and the first two who found matching suits would be the first to have sex while the rest of us watched. Then we’d go off again, hunting for more cards and so the evening progressed until everybody was naked and getting it on with either their original card partner, or a later swap.

I have to say that Malc came up with a winner that time. It was brilliant fun and went down so well with our guests that one couple has since arranged a similar party, only with more guests. They have a big house and could use almost the whole pack. Obviously, they couldn’t do the “first couple get it on while everybody watches” thing because it would have taken too long, but it still turned out to be a lot of fun.

So there you go. Next time you want to invite some friends over for some adult fun and games, just get that deck of cards out beforehand and start hiding them!

Sadie xxx

group sex

Did you know that people from Birmingham are more likely than anybody else in the entire world to search for porn on the Net? Well you do now!

This information comes from Google Trends, and as the world’s most used search engine my guess is that their data is pretty spot on. In second place is Manchester followed by Brisbane, Australia. BUT, like everything else, you can’t just look at that result and say that Brummies are more likely to want porn than anybody else because if you analyse the search term “pornography” instead, it’s the residents of New Delhi, India who come out tops and the UK doesn’t even feature in the Top 10. I guess it all depends on what you call your daily serving of sex!

The search term “porn for women” throws up some interesting results too, with Milton Keynes in first place, Manchester in second place and, yes… you guessed it, Birmingham in third place. Obviously, the ladies of Brum aren’t quite as horny as the men, which may be the reason why the guys are always looking for more!

But let’s look at a search term that’s really interesting: swingers! What do you think the results are now?

1. Milton Keynes, United Kingdom
2. Bletchley, United Kingdom
3. Brentford, United Kingdom
4. Birmingham, United Kingdom
5. Sheffield, United Kingdom
6. Manchester, United Kingdom
7. Edinburgh, United Kingdom
8. Dublin, Ireland
9. London, United Kingdom
10. Mexico, City Mexico

Interesting, eh? It seems when it comes to having an open lifestyle, we Brits are way ahead of the world.

And just for fun, I took a look at a few other search terms with the following results:

“teen porn” - Auckland, New Zealand
“mature swingers” - Oslo, Norway
“erotica” - Dehli, India
“fellatio” - Milan, Italy
“big tits” - Birmingham, UK (there they are again!)
“bbw” - Birmingham, UK (they just can’t get enough, can they?)
“free porn” - Birmingham, UK (and they’re cheapskates!)
“fisting” - Zurich, Switzerland
“foot fetish” - Istanbul, Turkey
“masturbation” Lyon, France

So there you go. The sex habits of the world. Make of it what you will.

Sadie xxx

uk swingers

I heard a friend complain last night about a guy at the club she frequents. Apparently he needs a lot of attention before he’s hard enough for a shag and she’s tired of spending an hour or more giving him oral just for a few minutes ‘full sex’.

I have to say, I couldn’t agree more.

It’s not that I don’t sympathise with the guy who has trouble getting aroused, but she tells me this guy appears to think it’s his right as a club member to have full sex and that women should do whatever it takes to get him ready for it.

Codswallop!

If you come across anybody who thinks like that, whether they’re male or female, let me tell you now that there are no obligations within the world of swinging! Absolutely none whatsoever!!

Nobody can expect you to spend an unreasonable amount of time getting them ready – if they’re not turned on by the thought of sex, the sight of naked people, the smell of naked bodies, then they obviously have a problem and should perhaps think about sorting that out before expecting others to swing with them.

If you find yourself in a situation like my friend has done, be kind but firm. Let the other part know that you don’t want to give oral (or whatever) for unreasonable lengths of time (I’d say 20 minutes should be ample) but that they’re more than welcome to join in if they can prepare themselves.

Here’s to fun and games for all – without jaw ache!

Sadie xx

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swingers uk